Insights from The Magic Tutu

Thank You cards ~ An endangered species? Part 2

I believe in sending Thank You cards.  A real Thank You card, inside an envelope, hand-addressed with 44c postage affixed.  In my circle of friends Thank You cards are our way of showing how much we appreciate each other.  My friend, Sally, makes her own one-of-a-kind cards.  So pretty.  I love finding her cards in my mailbox.  Jeanine, too, always sends wonderful cards.  Lesley, Henriette, the Deys, all my friends you've read about here.

I don't think it's necessary to send a Thank You card to someone after they have sent you a Birthday Card or Christmas Card.  That's going too far! But look how cute this is: Recently my cats sent a Birthday Card to their sister, Snowy, and in return, Snowy's mother (Lori) sent me this photo of Snowy posing with the card.  Sweet.

However, (getting on soap box) I'm befuddled that nowadays some people can't take the time to send a proper Thank You card even after they have been helped out of a crisis.  Is life moving so fast, is it so complicated and overwhelming that a person can't sit down and write, lick, seal, affix postage, go to mailbox and drop the card in the slot?  Why is it OK for a person to ask for help, receive help, and then not have the courtesy to send a Thank You card?  When did that behavior become popular?

Am I over-reacting?  Should I just accept ill manners as the new norm?  Is it fruitless to hang on to what once were common manners?  I realize giving help is it's own reward.  However, doesn't a proper Thank You reflect what's in a person's heart?  Reflect their love and gratitude?  I say yes.  It's right to express gratitude.  As I said in Part 1 of this tirade:  If a person doesn't have time to send a Thank You card they certainly don't have time to smell their neighbor's roses or pray.  

I can't judge the life of another person, but I can decide if I ever want to help them again.  By the way, Hallmark Cards, Papyrus Cards and some American Greeting cards are Made in China.  Check the back of the card before buying it, or better yet, make your own.  Thanks, friends, for reading my vent.   xoxo Amy  

"You're Welcome" vs. "No Problem" Part 3

In February 2009 and 2010 I wrote about the popularity of people saying "No problem" when "You're welcome!" was the appropriate thing to say.   Well, here I go again.  The two previous posts both revolved around flowers I sent to my cousin Jeanine in Wisconsin and the replies I got over-the-phone from the florists.  You can read both of those posts by clicking on Being Courteous at the bottom of this post.  Here is my 3rd installment on this topic.

Mr. Bubbles has been very sick for 6 months.  He's lost 8 pounds and that's a lot for a cat.  He went from 20 pounds down to 12 pounds and his luscious mane disappeared.  He has been weak and lethargic and seemed to have a problem eating.  For 11 years he has been a Lover Boy but the last 6 months he's been crabby and keeps pouncing on Margo, Baby and Angel.  Not like him!

 I took him to see our favorite verterinarian.  After $600 of blood tests to rule out kidney problems or cancer and a load of  X-rays he got a clean bill of health but still seemed lethargic and weak.  So next I took him to have his teeth checked only to find he had dental issues which explained his problem eating and his cranky mood.  That surprised me because he has his teeth cleaned every year.  Another $661 later Mr. Bubbles was released after dental surgery, stitches, extractions and meds.  I went to the counter to pay my MEGA bill and thanked the receptionist for her help.  Guess what she said?  "No problem."  In my mind I said, "I didn't think it was a problem darling.  After all, you should be thanking Mr. Bubbles for keeping YOU employed!"   I wish she would have said, "You're welcome!  We thank you for bringing your beloved Mr. Bubbles to our clinic and entrusting him to us.  We appreciate your business and it is our pleasure to help you."

I couldn't walk away from the counter and let this young girl's inappropriate manners win.  So I said it again, "Thank you for helping Mr. Bubbles."  And only then she said, "You're welcome."  

An incident happened yesterday which prompted my tirade.  I went to visit my friend, Sally, whom I have written about here before.  When I arrived at her White Cottage she presented me with a gift for our non-profit children's ballet company.  Sally didn't have to give us anything, but she did.  I thanked her for helping us and she said, "Well, you're welcome.  It's my pleasure to help."  Now that's my kinda woman!  Ever so polite and sensitive, Sally is always aware of the impact of the words she says.  Never flippant.  Always thoughtful.  Her courtesy cancelled out the rude response from the receptionist and my hope for humanity and the resurrection of Common Courtesy was restored. 

The beauty of a proper handshake, of someone saying I'm pleased to meet you, of being kind, gentle, responsible and worthy mean something to me.  I feel it is a duty to promote manners and to be sure what is Right prevails ~ especially with young people.  As I sign-off I tip my hat to the Virtues of Common Courtesy and Good Manners.  May they live a long life on our beloved Planet Earth.

xoxo Amy

 

"You're Welcome" vs. "No problem" Part 2

 Here I go again.  Last year at this very time I wrote a post about the new craze to say "No problem" when "You're welcome" is more apropos and more courteous.  I wrote that post after I ordered flowers long distance from a florist in Wisconsin for Jeanine's birthday and after spending a pretty penny, I said "Thank you" and the clerk said "No problem."  You can read my post from last year to see how unhappy I was about that response.  Plain old rude.  Click then scroll down to read  (Last year's post)

Jeanine's birthday came again yesterday (funny how they come around every year) and I called a different florist in Wisconsin ~ this one owned by a gentleman named Ron.  And a gentleman he was!  He said "You're welcome" more than once and also said "thank you for calling us."  That's my kinda man.  Ultra polite.  He spoke with proper diction (no slang) and was pleasant.  I will probably never meet Ron, but I am going to send him an e-mail with a link to this post so he can see what an impression his common courtesy made.  Look how Ron tied twine around the roses.  Yum.  The roses were only part of a lusciously flamboyant arrangement to celebrate the birthday of my beloved cousin, Jeanine.  Happy Birthday Cousin.  xoxo Amy  

Thank you cards -- an endangered species?

My girlfriend sent this funny Thank You card to me for helping her out with a project she's working on.  She's my friend, so to me, it was my pleasure to spend time with her.  Today her card came and I cracked up because it's a musical card that plays "We Are Fa-mi-ly" (remember that?)  My point is that she knew I'd love that card.  She knew I'd crack up and she just plain old wanted to thank me for my help even tho she'd already thanked me to my face.  Compare this to people who never take the time to buy a card and a 42 cent stamp and make a trip to the Post Office to mail it.  I guess they're just too busy to do something as trivial as send a Thank You card. 

I love to send cards.  Birthday cards.  Thank you cards.  Cards just for fun.  And I think it's another one of the old-fashioned customs that is vanishing -- just like letter writing.  It's so easy to type an e-thank you and click send.  It takes no effort.  But the person who did the helping used effort (that would be the help-er, right?)  The person who did the helping either helped with their muscle, time or money (or all three).  So why not make the effort to buy a fabulous card and make the effort to send it?  

Oh well, I guess in our gimme gimme gimme society manners have become a nuisance.  I still believe it is proper manners to send a proper thank you card with an actual handwritten signature (what a concept!)   It's nice to be nice.  Maybe some people live in a world that's hurdling out of control and the Thank You note concept doesn't stand a chance.  That's why I'm so grateful to live in small town America and to be surrounded by friends who still bake bread, sew and send Thank You cards.  I can't imagine being so stressed and frazzled that the thought of sitting down for 5 minutes to write "Thank You!" to someone is out of the question.  Pretty sad, isn't it...

This is why we all must vote for Mr. Bubbles for President next time -- because his platform mandates that every American sit in silence for 15 minutes every day to calm their wild mind and pray.  After all, if a person doesn't have time to send a Thank You card, they certainly don't have time to take a walk and smell their neighbors roses, and that means they certainly don't have time to pray.

"No problem" vs. "You're welcome!"

Today is February 24 and I've been thinking about this topic since February 18 when I sent these pretty pink roses to my cousin for her birthday.  She lives out-of-state, so I ordered the roses over the phone from a florist in her town.  After ordering & paying I said, "Thank you for helping me."   The clerk replied, "No problem."

No problem?  I just spent a pretty penny at a florist at a time when florists are one of the many businesses suffering the economy, and it's "no problem"?  Well, I didn't think it would be a problem.  How about saying, "You're welcome!  Thank you for your business."  Or how about, "My pleasure."  I'm noticing more & more that people say "no problem" rather than "you're welcome."  Why is everything a problem?

A man held the door open for me at the post office.  I said, "Thank you!"  Guess what he said?  "No problem."  I would rather he be honest and say, "It is is problem for me to hold the door open for you, but I did it anyway."  That's more honest.   Yesterday I watched Vantage Point -- a movie in which Dennis Quaid plays a Presidential bodyguard.  At the end of the movie he saved the President's life.  The President said, "Thank you for saving my life."  Guess what the bodyguard said?  He said, "You're welcome, Mr. President."   Now that's my kinda man!